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Bob* thought he continued to drink too much wine each night because he liked it, even though it made him lethargic and grumpy the next day. Tom* thought it was laziness that stopped him using his expensive gym membership for almost a year. Despite their best efforts, both thought they lacked willpower and determination, leading to self-blame, guilt and frustration. But what if Bob and Tom like many of us, have had inner conflict all wrong? What if we have been inadvertentl