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Transforming the underlying causes of self-sabotage

PARTS THERAPY FOR INNER CONFLICT

What is parts therapy?

Parts therapy aims to overcome the subconscious or inner resistance which results in self-sabotaging, behaviours, affecting eating, exercising, sleep, drinking, smoking or causing blocks around career, relationships, health or finances.

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​If you repeatedly hear yourself say:  'I want to .... but I keep ending up doing .... instead ..' and if your best efforts to change just lead to failure, self-blame, guilt and frustration, then parts therapy may be worth considering.

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When your conscious and subconscious mind are in conflict, your subconscious mind invariably wins. Parts therapy sessions can be deeply insightful because you finally get to understand how and why your subconscious has been driving you in the way it has. The sessions are often profound but light-hearted, deep but subtle, quick but effective. Clients usually find them fascinating and thoroughly enjoyable! 

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How will it benefit me?

 Parts therapy can be useful for inner conflicts such as: 

 

  • ​Wanting to get healthier .. but unable to start exercising

  • Wanting to eat better .. but unable to stop overeating

  • Wanting a more balanced life .. but continuing to overcommit

  • Wanting career success .. but repeatedly making poor career decisions

  • Wanting a great relationship .. but unable to commit to healthy behaviors

  • Wanting to save money .. but continuing to spend

 

The cause of your inner conflict may not be what you think. This is because your subconscious drives which may have come to life years or even decades ago, may be quite different from your conscious reasonings. For example:

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Client A thought he continued to drink daily in middle age because he liked it. In his parts therapy session he discovered the pattern was established in his university days when he was trying to fit in and be liked. His inner mind was continuing to make it easier for him to establish friendships, but it didn't know that he was now in his mid 50's and quite capable of maintaining friendships. Understanding this inner drive allowed him to release that need and his urge to drink disappeared rapidly. He is now enjoying a newfound sober energy and enthusiasm for life.

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Client B wanted to go to the gym but was unable to motivate herself. She thought it was laziness. It turned out her inner mind was trying to protect her from the danger of social interactions at the gym, following a painful relationship breakup. Once she understood this, her inner mind agreed to a new role, namely to support her to achieve her fitness goals. Her motivation returned and as an added bonus she felt more confident and comfortable in conversations with others too. Sometimes, as in this case, the results of parts therapy can generalise into other areas of life, providing additional unforeseen benefits.

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These real-life client examples show that your efforts to change may have failed previously because you were trying to fix the wrong underlying cause. Once you can identify the real subconsious underlying cause, change can be much easier to achieve. 

What is a session like?

This is wonderful example, generously offered by a colleague who was happy for her own session to be shared. Although some details remain anonymous you will hear two distinct parts 'talking'. One is driving the issue or inner conflict and the other is a motivating or supportive part. Both want the very best for her, but in different ways and it's this inner conflict that's the cause of the issue. In the recording you'll hear the different voices of the two parts and one part giving an opinion about the other. You'll also clearly hear when I talk to my colleague and get her views about the parts. At the end you'll hear the conflicting part taking on a new role and becoming more fully integrated with the other parts and my colleague. You'll also get to hear how she experienced the session and its immediate impact. Some of the descriptions given are cryptic and this is normal. The subconscious operates on images and metaphors that may not be understood by others. Overall it's a fascinating listen!

Sample: Parts Therapy
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Commentary: Parts Therapy
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How does it work?

You can think of a parts therapy session as a sort of facilitated internal role play. Within a calm and relaxed state, you will identify and name your conflicting parts, exploring their roles and reasonings. A client might discover for example that the part Driver keeps them working long hours and unable to relax, which is in conflict with the part Happy, who only wants the best for them. Driver may have been formed for a valid reason decades ago, but has continued to operate in the same way, as if stuck on a loop, even though life has changed.

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The key aim of the session is to bring all conflicting parts related to your goal back into a balanced, harmonious alignment, with no one part having too much power. You may choose to give a part a new role in your life so that it can help rather than hinder you. All of this might sound a bit odd, but because your subconscious mind operates via imagination, story or metaphor, all of this makes perfect sense to your inner mind! The outcome of this new integrated, inner harmony is you achieving your goals quicker and more easily.

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​Sessions are available in-person in Clare, Suffolk, UK and virtually on Zoom, with availability to suit global time zones. Please allow for a maximum of 2 hours per session. We only deal with one key issue at a time and most issues achieve satisfactory outcomes in 1-3 sessions, often combining different therapies. You determine how many sessions you need, by how complete the resolution feels to you. â€‹â€‹Please note that I only work with motivated clients, who are committed to achieving real change in their lives.

Frequently asked questions

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