Transforming the underlying causes of self-sabotage
PARTS THERAPY FOR INNER CONFLICT
What is parts therapy?
Parts therapy aims to overcome the subconscious or inner resistance which creates self-sabotaging behaviours around things like eating, exercising, sleep, drinking, smoking or within careers, relationships, health or finances. If you repeatedly hear yourself say: 'I want to .... but I keep ending up doing .... instead ..' and if your best efforts to change just lead to failure, self-blame, guilt and frustration, then parts therapy may be worth considering.
When your conscious and subconscious mind are in conflict, your subconscious mind invariably wins. Parts therapy sessions can be deeply insightful because you finally get to understand how and why your subconscious has been driving you in the way it has. The sessions are often profound but light-hearted, deep but subtle, quick but effective. Clients usually find them fascinating.
How will it benefit me?
Parts therapy can be useful for inner conflicts such as:
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Wanting to get healthier .. but unable to start exercising
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Wanting to eat better .. but unable to stop overeating
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Wanting a more balanced life .. but continuing to overcommit
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Wanting career success .. but repeatedly playing small or making poor career decisions
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Wanting a great relationship .. but unable to commit to healthy behaviors
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Wanting to save money .. but continuing to spend
The cause of your inner conflict may not be what you think. This is because your subconscious drives which may have come to life years or even decades ago, may be quite different from your conscious reasonings. For example:
Client A thought he continued to drink daily in middle age because he liked it. In his parts therapy session he discovered the pattern was established in his university days when he was trying to fit in and be liked. His inner mind was continuing to make it easier for him to establish friendships (and avoid rejection), but it didn't know that he was now in his mid 50's and quite capable of maintaining friendships. Understanding this inner drive allowed him to release that need and his urge to drink disappeared rapidly. He is now enjoying a newfound sober energy and enthusiasm for life.
Client B wanted to go to the gym but was unable to motivate herself. She thought it was laziness. It turned out her inner mind was trying to protect her from the danger of social interactions at the gym, following a painful relationship breakup. Once she understood this, her inner mind agreed to a new role, namely to support her to achieve her fitness goals. Her motivation returned and as an added bonus she felt more confident and comfortable in conversations with others too. Sometimes, as in this case, the results of parts therapy can generalise into other areas of life, providing additional unforeseen benefits.
These real-life client examples show that your efforts to change may have failed previously because you were trying to fix the wrong underlying cause. Once you can identify the real subconsious underlying cause, change can be much easier to achieve.
What is a session like?
A colleague generously agreed to share her session for this example. While some details are anonymous, you'll notice two distinct parts speaking: one fuels the inner conflict, and the other offers motivation or support. Both parts aim for her well-being, but their different approaches create tension. In the recording, you can hear these two voices and even catch one part commenting on the other. There are also moments where I speak directly with my colleague to get her perspective. By the end, the conflicting part adopts a new role, allowing for better integration with the other aspects of herself. You'll also hear her reflections on the session and its immediate effects. Some descriptions might seem cryptic—that's normal, as the subconscious communicates through images and metaphors that aren't always clear to others. All in all, it's an intriguing listen!
How does it work?
A parts therapy session can be thought of as a guided internal role play. In a calm and relaxed environment, you'll identify and name the conflicting parts within yourself, exploring their purposes and motivations. For instance, a client might learn that the Driver part pushes them to work excessively, preventing relaxation, which clashes with the Happy part, whose aim is their well-being. Although the Driver may have developed for good reasons long ago, it often continues its behaviour out of habit, even when circumstances have changed.
The main purpose of the session is to help bring all aspects related to your goal into a balanced and unified alignment, ensuring no single part dominates. You might decide to assign a new function to one of these parts so it supports you, instead of holding you back. While this approach may seem unusual, it aligns well with how your subconscious mind works—through imagination, stories, and metaphors—so it feels natural to your inner self. When these parts are integrated and working in harmony, you’ll likely reach your goals faster and with greater ease.
Virtual sessions lasting 2-hrs are offered to accommodate different global time zones. In parts therapy, we focus on addressing one main issue per session, but positive effects often extend to other areas of life as well. Most clients see good results within 1-3 sessions, which typically involve multiple services. Please be aware that I work exclusively with motivated individuals who are dedicated to making genuine changes in their lives.